We're back, well I'm back

I didn't go anywhere but I'm back to writing on this, because I know if I don't I will have only fleeting memories of my kids. Even now that Huxley is 2 and Lux 6 I wonder, was she like him?? 2 is a cute age, my kids by 2 or a little after 2 seem to become normal human beings, well Huxley does, it seems if memory serves me correctly Lux has always been relatively normal. But he is hitting his stride, revealing himself to us and although I believe him to be much less complicated than his sister, what you see is what you get, to say we have struggled with him is an understatement. Gawd you must think we're awful parents demanding perfection - we're not - we're older parents, busy parents, parents without a real safety net of the kind of uncomplicated support that family would provide where and when we could say, not ask "watch the kids on saturday we need to clean out our garage". Nope we don't have that, but we get by and life is full of choices (I remind myself daily). So back to kids, what this is really all about, not me bitching that that I'm breakfast, lunch, dinner, bathes, and bedtimes everyday! So 2 and 6, pretty neat ages, toddler and grade one'er. My grade one'er back in school for a week today, she has adjusted, day one was TERRIBLE, day two marginally better, three through now, pretty good. Night one was a heap at bedtime with tears not quite or actually able at all to articulate her general feelings of insecurity. I could have said "I hear ya sister, I feel like that most days" that the stars didn't align perfectly and someone looked at her funny and she was unsure who to sit with and even when to sit and that summer break was OVER (that in and of itself is a pretty crushing concept and reality to absorb at 6 or at 41), and that maybe her lunch wasn't quite right or maybe her outfit or maybe the teacher or maybe dad or mom. I worried to the point of making myself sick, Geoff braced me, I had a good conversation with my mom and I'm better now and more importantly so is my star, my best gal. My two'er - funny kid, HUGE big personality, fills a room. He has a big boy hair cut and a very big vocabulary, I understand everything he says and he seems to understand me, awesome, we're communicating! When I say no, I know he thinks fuck you but he says to me "okay fine" and thats pretty good because I seem to say "NO" alot. Here are a few of his other funny sayings: whata me noise (what is that noise) pick you up (pick me up) i feezing (I'm freezing) fine (he gets from his sister) okay so (he gets from me) got it (he gets from his dad) He likes books now, Toot and Puddle (or Toot and Cuddle), he LOVES to play with his Thomas Trains and cars. Do all boys lie in their cribs, beds, floors for hours with a car going zoom zoom back and forth? He loves to play kitchen and picnic with Lux's dolls and his teddies "you want milk, you want cacker". His is very responsive to a routine and seems to fly out of order if we adjust it, without notice. Bedtime in particular, bath, "mommy pick you up" - at that time of the day means mommy put me to bed, 'bider (itsy bitsy spider), 4 cock (1, 2, 3, 4 oclock rock), a few books and few cuddles and down. Only until I return back to his room 30-45 later and quickly re-do the routine until he is out, like a light, by that time its close to 9 pm. He likes to sleep, but can rally for a late night, something his sister has never been able to do!