operation freedom over...maybe

possibly returning to work fulltime, like real work, like get up in the am, get dressed and go to work work, like people are looking for me to do things work, like 40+ hours a week work that really is 50 and consists of the important part of my day 8-6 and bleeds over.

totally unsure if i'm ready or want to do this, if i will ever be ready again.

what happened, was "work" that fucking awful or is parenting that meaningful. probably both, i left fulltime work burnt out, exhausted, dis-enfrantished, uninspired and a whole bunch of other things. that was 1.5 years ago and since then i've become VERY accustomed to my life. my family has become VERY accustomed with my life (unbenounced to them - can someone tell geoffrey this...). but part of me feels ready to leave the nest, at least temporarily. dependant on killer child care and a schedule that not only works for the x's but for me too.

these decisions are never easy for me, well most decisions aren't easy for me, consequently i make very few of them, at least the hard ones.

but i call this operation freedom, maybe its operation "avoid making any challenging decisions and continue to work a little and raise my kids alot and seriously what i want to do with the next 20 years of my life".

too lofty for 10:13 pm for an on and off insomniac.